


lost and found

by thepageobsessed



Category: ER (TV 1994), Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Characters will be added as they appear - Freeform, F/F, Some Canon, Some Fluff, Some angst, and some that should be canon but aren't, begins more svu centric, but by chapter 5 pov will be split between both, canon typical (for svu) mentions of rape/abuse/violence in reference to cases, does this idea make any sense? no. do i care? also no., established relationships - Freeform, ignores everything in canon about kerry's bio family, kind of a fix-it fic, many lesbians, starts in svu season 5/ er season 10
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-10
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-04 18:35:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 18,700
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25191013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thepageobsessed/pseuds/thepageobsessed
Summary: when alex's mother died, alex expected to receive some money and jewelry. what she didn't expect was to learn that she had a sister who had been adopted at birth.-----------or-----------when kerry had thought about meeting her biological family as a child, she had dreamed about them magically showing up on her doorstep one day. that didn't mean she wasn't surprised when it actually happened though.
Relationships: Olivia Benson/Alexandra Cabot, Sandy Lopez/Kerry Weaver
Comments: 25
Kudos: 27





	1. communication difficulties

Olivia watched Alex quietly as she worked on the case. Although she loved and trusted her girlfriend, she was worried. Alex’s current bout of workaholism couldn’t be healthy. She needed love and support, not eight unwinnable cases to prosecute.

As she had been reminded over and over again by the blonde though, that wasn’t her choice to make. Unfortunately, all Olivia can do is watch her girlfriend self destruct and be there to pick up the pieces.

“See something interesting?” Alex’s voice broke Olivia out of her thoughts.

“Just decided to stop and watch the pretty woman work,” Olivia said lightly, attempting to mask her concern for Alex’s sake.

“Oh really?” Alex asked, shutting the folder containing the case she was working on and getting up. “And that has nothing to do with your constant worrying over me?”

“I’m not constantly worrying over you,” Olivia protested. “It’s perfectly normal for a woman to be a little concerned for her girlfriend though, especially when said girlfriend’s mother is on death’s door!”

“Yes,” Alex allowed, “but this girlfriend has barely talked to her mom in _years_. It’s sad that she’s dying, but it isn’t like her death is going to leave a hole in my life that will never be filled.”

As Alex came closer to her, Olivia sighed as she registered the dark circles under her eyes. “You need to sleep babe,” she said quietly, tracing the circles. “I know these cases are important to you, but you’ll be no use to the victims if you fall asleep on the stand.”

“You worry too much,” Alex said quietly. “You know me, I’m fine. I’m always fine.”

“ _Nobody_ is always fine sweetie,” Olivia refuted. “I know that you like to think that you are invincible, but nobody is, and you need sleep, just like everyone else.”

“I don’t think I‘ll even be able to go to sleep until this pedo is in jail,” Alex said quietly. “He was an elementary school teacher who raped his students. How sick can a person be?”

Olivia sighed and ran her hand through Alex’s hair. “You and I both know how bad the world can be. Some people are just monsters, which is why we do what we do.”

“What if I can't put this guy away though?” Alex asked softly. “Sure we have the testimonies, but we don’t have any DNA and he has the best lawyers that money can buy. I don’t know if I’ll be able to do right by those girls.”

“Yes you will,” Olivia said firmly, grabbing Alex’s hands in her own. “I know you and I know that you will do everything in your power to do right by those girls because you are a great lawyer and a great person.”

Alex bit her lip as a single tear fell down her cheek. “Thank you,” she said quietly. “I needed to hear that. This job, sometimes it-”

“I know,” Olivia replied as she hugged Alex. “I _know_.”

“Plus,” Alex continued, her voice breaking slightly. “I don’t know why, I mean my mother is homophobic and snobby and an absolute _narcissist_ but I still feel a little… confused.”

Alex’s voice faded out, as she obviously became lost in thought.

“Why do you feel confused?” Olivia asked quietly. 

“I don’t know,” Alex replied, almost laughing through her tears. “It’s just- why? She’s not even that old. She’s only 60. Why did she get cancer? She’s my mom. I mean, I hate her, but she’s still my mom!”

Olivia wanted to cry as a wave of sobs overcame Alex and she buried her head in Olivia’s chest. She knew that Alex processing her emotions would help her in the long run, but she _hated_ seeing the normally strong ADA so upset. It just felt _wrong_ for Alex to not be okay. In the year and a half that they had been together, this was the first time that she had seen Alex break down like this, and it scared her more than she cared to admit.

“You’re okay,” she reassured Alex softly. “I love you. You are okay, you are going to be okay,” she repeated as she stroked Alex’s arm softly. 

“What if I’m not?” Alex asked as she looked up at Olivia suddenly. “What if I can’t do this job? I can’t let myself get this invested in cases, it’s not healthy.”

“You’ll be okay,” Olivia reassured her. “I’ll make sure you are okay and I’ll help you and make sure that you can do this job because you are _perfect_ for it.”

“Am I though?” Alex asked softly.

“Yes you are,” Olivia replied with conviction. “You have one of the strongest moral compasses I’ve ever seen and you are willing to fight for the people that no one else will fight for. Everything you are feeling now, it is temporary. I will make sure of it.”

“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” Alex said quietly. “I love you Liv.”

“I love you too Alex. You know that I’ll always support you no matter what, right?”

“I know,” Alex replied softly. 

“I just want you to be happy,” Olivia said, her voice hoarse. “You should go to bed, you really need to sleep."

Alex obliged, probably too emotionally and physically worn out to protest.

The next day, Alex felt Olivia’s glancing at her when she wasn’t looking. She felt Olivia treating her like she was fragile, like a victim who had walked into SVU, disoriented and confused. She hated it. She wasn’t some fragile, broken woman. She was Alexandra Cabot, Manhattan SVU ADA.

“Liv,” she said finally after the sixth worried glance in ten minutes. “I am fine. Can you stop treating me like one of your victims?”

“I’m not treating you like-” Olivia began to protest.

“Save it,” Alex interrupted sourly. “I’m going into work. See you later.” She felt bad, but she just couldn’t take the worried glances.

“Alex!” Olivia said, getting up to follow her, but Alex ignored her, grabbed the files sitting on the counter, and left.

Alex didn’t actually need to be at work so early, but she needed some alone time to process everything. Her mother was dying. Alex didn’t even know how to feel about her mother dying. Most people would feel sad, but Alex wasn’t most people and Katherine Cabot wasn’t most mothers. As Alex had let on to Olivia earlier, her mother cared little for her and viewed her as an inconvenience at best.

Even so, he was still the woman who had raised her and the last reminder of her childhood. Although Alex wasn’t losing a support system or a friend, she was still losing her only family, and there was something saddening about that.

Stopping at a Starbucks, Alex grabbed a coffee after realizing that she had left before she had drunk the cup she had made earlier.

”Thank you,” she said as the cashier handed her the coffee before she left.

Walking out of the store, Alex reflected on how she had treated Olivia earlier. She did feel bad, but she hated being viewed as a victim and her breakdown had not helped her in that respect at all.

She spent the remainder of her commute to 1 Hogan Place contemplating how badly she had messed up with Olivia and how she was going to ruin the case and-

“Alex! You’re early today!”

Alex forced a smile as Liz greeted her, coming out of the building. “Hi Liz,” she replied. “I just wanted to get a head start on this case, it’s going to be a difficult one.”

“It might be, but if anyone can do it, you can,” Liz replied reassuringly. 

“Thanks, Liz,” Alex replied as she went inside. 

Making a beeline towards her office, Alex hurried inside, before slamming the case files and almost empty coffee cup down on her desk. Holding her head in her hands, she sighed. She was tired, and stressed, and sad, and _not_ in the mood to deal with the asshole defense attorney standing in her doorway.

“Hello Alex,” an unfortunately familiar voice greeted her. _Great_.

“Hi Trevor,” Alex replied, not bothering to look up.

“I appreciate your warm welcome,” Trevor began, “but I was just coming to inform you that I will be representing Gerald Harris.”

“Pedophile teachers? And I thought you couldn’t stoop any lower,” Alex remarked, shooting him a glare.

“Everyone’s entitled to a defense,” Trevor said with a shrug. “Plus it’s your fault if he gets off, not mine. It means that you failed to prove that he committed a crime.”

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” Alex responded, but internally she couldn’t help but agree with him. It was _her job_ to put this piece of human scum into prison and she was going to accomplish it at whatever cost. “Was this just a courtesy call, or do you have a reason for coming here and bothering me?”

“Do I need a reason?” Trevor asked, looking put out.

“ _Yes_ ,” Alex replied. “Now please either find one in the next minute or leave. Some of us have work to do.”

“Lovely,” Trevor replied. “Maybe you wouldn’t be so single if you were a little friendlier.”

Alex looked up in offense. “I’m not single,” she said irritably.

“You aren’t?” Trevor replied. “I was sure that you were, you always struck me as the type to be married to your work. Who are you dating?”

“None of your business,” Alex replied with an eye-roll before shooing him away.

As he left, Alex began idly examining the case files, feeling surprisingly offended at Trevor’s assumption. “ _Of course I’m not single, that was a ridiculous assumption_ ,” she thought, but it didn’t stop her worrying. “ _Maybe it’s because I work too much_.”

The rest of the day was thankfully uneventful, with Alex successfully getting a warrant for a new case from Judge Petrovsky and preparing for arraignment tomorrow. She was constructing her opening statement when the door burst open. She flinched, but relaxed when she realized it was only Elliot and Olivia.

“Ever heard of knocking?” she asked, unimpressed.

“Yeah, I just don’t do it,” Olivia replied. “Did you get the warrant for the Martin case?”

“Yes, and I was about to bring it over,” Alex informed her. “Making your trip unnecessary.”

“What if I also just wanted to pay my girlfriend a visit?” Olivia asked, coming closer.

“As appealing as the idea of making all of Stabler’s voyeuristic dreams come true is, then why is he here?” Alex pointed out.

“Not that kind of visit babe,” Olivia said as Elliot’s face flushed red. “The _I hope my girlfriend- who is going through something traumatic- is okay_ visit.”  
“Well I am okay,” Alex assured her quickly. “So feel free to leave!”

“Like I’d just take your word for it,” Olivia said with a snort. “You could be on the edge of a cliff, holding onto a slowly crumbling rock to keep from falling into the vast abyss, and you’d pretend that everything was perfectly okay.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “Oddly specific example, but I disagree. I'm perfectly open and vulnerable, and the truth is that I _am_ fine right now, but I really need to finish preparing this case for arraignment, so if you wouldn’t mind letting me do that, babe.”

Olivia stared at her for a second with an unreadable expression, before nodding. “Point taken,” she replied stiffly, taking the warrant from the desk. “I’ll let you get back to work, Counselor.” she continued before leaving, Elliot in tow.

Alex went back to work and tried to ignore the voice in the back of her head telling her how badly she had fucked up.

Olivia bit her lip as she shut the door to Alex’s office, trying to push back the lump she felt forming in her throat. She knew Alex wasn’t _trying_ to hurt her, but it didn’t stop the words from piercing through her like a knife.

“Liv, you okay?” Elliot asked, registering the hurt look on Olivia’s face.

“I’m fine,” she replied quickly. “Let’s get back to the precinct.”

“Okay,” Elliot replied, shooting her a concerned glance.”You can talk to me if you need to though. Judgment free zone.”

“Thanks,” Olivia replied quietly, “but right now I just want to get back to work, let’s get back to the precinct.

Elliot nodded, and silence enveloped them for the trip back to the precinct.

“Did Alex get the warrant?” Cragen asked as they returned.

“Yep,” Olivia replied, “do you want us to search Martin’s apartment?”.

“I’m going to send Fin and Munch, you two can check the security cam footage I have here to see if we can prove whether Martin and the vic were in the bar at the same time and for how long.”

Olivia and Elliot nodded and went into an empty room to view the films.

After a few hours of footage, Olivia grew restless. “Either he’s _really_ good at avoiding the camera, or they weren’t actually there at the same time,” she said, tossing a used tape onto the ground.

“Keep watching,” Elliot said intently, before pausing triumphantly. “There!” he said, pointing to a barely visible shadow. 

“That won’t hold up in court,” Olivia dismissed gloomily.

“One more sec,” Elliot said, letting the tape run before pausing again. “There we go,” he said, zooming in.

It was small, but it was obviously Martin, discreetly going into the bar.

“Got him,” Olivia said happily, taking a picture. “Let’s get this to Cragren.”

Her mood improving exponentially, Olivia knocked on the door to Cragen’s office.

“Come in,” he called.

“We got it,” Olivia informed him immediately.

“Proof?” Cragen confirmed.

“Yep,” Olivia said, pulling out the picture. “Look at the timestamp. We’ve got him.”

“Good,” Cragen said. “Bring him in.”

Olivia practically skipped out. “Let’s get the bastard,” she said to Elliot.

Elliot smiled and followed a (possibly overexcited) Olivia out.

The buzz of arresting a rapist still hadn’t worn off when Olivia returned home, but it was mixed with a fair amount of hurt and anger at Alex's earlier dismissal.

“Hey babe,” she greeted as she walked in.

“Liv,” Alex greeted her. “I’m really sorry about earlier. I shouldn’t have snapped.”

“It’s fine,” Olivia dismissed. “You’re going through a rough time right now.

“That isn’t an excuse though. I’m sorry Liv, and thank you for caring about me so much. You’re a better person than I deserve.”

Olivia scoffed. “You deserve much better than me.”

“I deserve someone worse than you,” Alex refuted with a scoff.

“Better.”

“Worse.”

“You aren’t going to give up, are you?”

“Nope,” Alex replied cheerfully, causing them to both break into laughter.

“I love you,” Olivia replied as their laughter quieted down, sitting down next to Alex.

“I love you too,” Alex replied, leaning on Olivia’s shoulder.

“Alex, please talk to me,” Olivia said quietly, squeezing her hand. “I know that opening up is difficult for you babe, but _please_. Talking will make you feel better, I promise.”

“I already did,” Alex protested. 

“Yeah, but then you reverted,” Olivia pointed out. One minute, you opened up to me, the next you were shutting me out again.

“I’m sorry,” Alex said. “It’s just, you were treating me like I was one of your victims and I don’t want that. I want you to treat me like you always have. I hate you tiptoeing around me.

Olivia smiled at her. “I’ll try not to, I just don’t like you hurting.”

“It’ll go away,” Alex said, reassuring both herself and Olivia. “This part’s the worst though. Just _waiting_ for her to die. 

“Yeah,” Olivia said. “Do you want to visit her? I mean, she is your mom.”

“I tried,” Alex said. “Around a week ago when she was still talking. She kicked me out once she learned that we’re still together. Said she hopes that her death will ‘snap me out of this ridiculous phase’.”

“Oh.” Olivia said quietly. “She’s such a bitch.”

“Imagine living with her and her toyboy for your entire childhood. _Nightmare_.” Alex said, laughing slightly

“Hey, my mom wasn’t exactly June Cleaver either,” Olivia said with a small laugh. “She was fine when she wasn’t drunk though, while your mother’s defining trait was her nastiness, so you might still win.”

“With our mothers, I don’t think either of us can win,” Alex said, smiling sadly. “Surprising how normal we turned out with our parents. It’s a miracle that we aren’t hooked on drugs or older men.”

“Speak for yourself,” Olivia refuted before pausing. “About the normal part. I don’t think drugs or older men are really my thing. Blonde lawyers though...” she trailed off as she went in for a kiss.

Alex reciprocated and for a second, as their lips met, they were in their own world. A world without horrible mothers or demanding bosses. A world that was just the two of them.

They pulled away after a few seconds and smiled gently at each other.

“I’m so lucky to have you,” Olivia said quietly. “You’re just… everything.”

“I think I’m the lucky one here,” Alex replied, nudging Olivia. “I have a strong, beautiful girlfriend who’s made it her mission to make the world a better place and I love her for it.”

Olivia laughed suddenly. “I never thought I was the gushing, lovey-dovey type. You’ve really ruined me Cabot.”

Alex shot her a playful glare. “I wasn’t really either, this is all on you Benson.”

“How do you suggest I make it up to you?” Olivia asked, her tone becoming flirty.

“Well,” Alex replied, “there’s this book.”

Olivia rolled her eyes. “Within reason. I am not doing whatever you get from that _sex book_ -”

“Not what it’s called,” Alex interrupted.

Ignoring her, Olivia continued, “which was probably written by a straight man who gets off on lesbian porn-”

”If Rose Davies is a traditionally masculine name, then sure,” Alex interrupted again.

Shooting her a glare, Olivia carried on nonetheless. “And who still lives in his mom’s basement dreaming of the day he finds a woman who can stand to be in the same room as him.”

Alex shook her head. “What did the book ever do to you?”

Olivia wrinkled her nose. “It’s gross. It feels like it was written by _Elliot_.”

Alex gagged visibly. “No thanks, no, thank you for putting that image in my head, I think that you just ruined the book for me.”

Olivia smiled, proud of herself. 

Alex was just disgusted.”He’s a Catholic, he shouldn’t watch porn or endorse lesbian..” she trailed off.

“Sex?” Olivia supplied happily.

“Yeah, that,” Alex said with a sigh, before making a face. “This conversation took a terrible turn, could we please talk about something a little more fun? Like taxes?”

They giggled, Alex’s mommy issues forgotten in their happiness.

Just then, the phone rang.

“Later,” Olivia dismissed, swatting at it.

Alex rolled her eyes. “What if it’s important?” she asked before answering. “Cabot.”

Olivia watched as Alex’s eyes widened, her smile turning into an impassive mask.

“Okay,” she said quietly. “Thank you for calling. I’m making the arrangements, I’ll call the funeral home. Thank you for your condolences. Bye.”

Alex turned to Olivia. “That was the nursing home,” she said emotionlessly.

“Your mom?” Olivia asked, despite already knowing the answer.

“She’s dead.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so a new fic! this fic begins more a/o centric, but will eventually be split between a/o and kerry/sandy. the location also switches between new york and chicago depending on where we are in the story. updates will be weekly on fridays, while I'll post one shots/shorter stories on tuesdays. stay safe!


	2. repressed emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which olivia tries (and fails, mostly) to force alex to admit that she is sad.

“Do you want something to eat?”

Olivia knew Alex’s answer before she even asked the question, but felt that it was her duty to ask it regardless.

“I’m fine,” Alex replied.

They both knew it was a lie, but Olivia didn’t want to force Alex to talk if she didn’t want to. She had done enough of that the day before.

“I’m probably going to visit the morgue tomorrow, do you want to come?” Alex asked.

“Of course babe,” Olivia replied quietly. “Just tell me if you have second thoughts or anything.”

“Don’t worry,” Alex said, flashing her a quick smile.

“It’s my job,” Olivia replied, squeezing her hand. “When are you having the funeral?”

“Saturday,” Alex replied. “Enough time for notice, not that many people will be attending anyway. It’ll just be me, you, three out of five of my mom’s ex-husbands, maybe a few of her ex-boyfriends, and some of her rich friends."

“Sounds like a party,” Olivia said with a smile. 

Alex let out a small laugh in reply. “I’m sure everything is going to go _perfectly_.”

“I’ll be there with you no matter what happens,” Olivia reassured her.

“Thank you,” Alex replied softly. “I love you Liv, you know that right?”

“Yes,” Olivia replied softly “You don’t even have to tell me.”

Alex sat for a second, biting her lip, before she looked up at Olivia. “I think I might go into work today if that’s okay with you.”

“Whatever you want is fine with me,” Olivia replied quietly. “Go into work, or don’t. I just want whatever’s best for you.”

“Thank you,” Alex replied quietly. “You should probably go into work too then. Especially if you are taking off Saturday for the funeral.”

“I will, but call me if you need _anything_.” 

“I will,” Alex replied. “I think that after the funeral we’ll meet with my Mom’s lawyer to talk about her estate. Would you be okay with attending that with me too?”

“Of course,” Olivia assured her.

“I’m going to get going then,” Alex said. 

“Without eating anything?” Olivia attempted.

“Nice try,” Alex replied with a small smile. “I’m not hungry. See you later Liv.”

“Bye babe,” Olivia responded, watching her leave with concern. Sighing, she finished breakfast and went into work, although her worries over Alex significantly diminished her focus.

“Olivia, nice of you to join us,” Munch remarked as she walked in. The rest of the squad was gathered at the board, where they were being briefed on the case. 

“Hey,” Olivia responded. “What’ve we got.”

“Our vic is a 45-year-old housewife who lives on the Upper East Side. Linda Roberts. Her son found her raped and stabbed to death in her bed,” Cragen informed her.

“That’s awful,” Olivia replied quietly. “Was she married?”

“Yep, with two kids who are 10 and 8. Mariage is by all accounts, strong and he was on a business trip to LA. He’s flying in and should be here shortly. They have a nanny who’s been with the family since their older kid was born and a maid who comes in once a week,” Cragen responded.

“Would either of them have opportunity or motive?” Olivia asked.

“I doubt it, and they both have strong alibis.”

“Do we have a suspect?”

“We think so,” Cragen responded. “Apparently her fitness trainer has been pursuing him and she unequivocally rejected him, which is why she recently switched gyms. He lives alone and no alibi. Luckily, our attacker left semen, so we’ll run it through the system and if nothing comes up, we’ll go after the trainer.”

“That’s good then,” Olivia replied. “When will the DNA be back?”

“Few hours, tops,” Cragen informed her. “I asked them to put a rush on it.”

“Good,” Olivia responded.

“Elliot and Olivia, you two interview the kids. Fin and Munch, you two go recanvass the scene, talk to neighbors. Good?”

“Yes,” the four responded in unison. 

Olivia sighed as she looked at the kids. They were _babies_. They didn’t deserve this. No one did.

“Hey,” she said softly as she entered the room. 

“Hi,” the girls said, her tone matching Olivia’s. The boy didn’t respond, choosing to play with the action figures in front of him instead.

“Would it be okay if we asked you a few questions?” she asked them softly. 

The girl nodded, while the boy continued playing with the figures.

“My name is Olivia and his name is Elliot,” she said, pointing to herself and then Elliot. “What are your names?”

“My name is Sarah,” the girl said, before nudging her brother. “Jake,” he mumbled, still not acknowledging the detectives.

“Do either of you remember anything happening last night? Were you woken up by any sounds?” Olivia asked.

“I don’t,” Sarah said. “I went to sleep and then Jake woke me up crying and I called 911.”

“You did a really good job, that was the right thing to do,” Olivia informed her. “How about you Jake?”

Sarah whispered something in his ear and he finally looked up at the detectives. “I went to Mommy’s bedroom because I was hungry and wanted breakfast,” he began.”B-but she was covered in blood and wouldn’t move and s-so I told Sarah,” he said, stuttering over his words, tears quickly filling his eyes.

“You didn’t see anyone else in the house?” she asked softly.

“No,” Jake replied.

“Thank you, sweetie. Thank you, both of you. I think your daddy is coming home soon.”

Sarah managed a smile, but Jake just went back to his action figures.

After exiting the room, Olivia let out a tired sigh. “I hate this. Those kids, they’re too young to go through this," she paused before continuing. "You’re never old enough to go through this.”

Elliot nodded in agreement.

Despite what she had told everyone in her life (and by everyone, she really just meant Liv), Alex knew full well that she wasn’t fine. It was a good thing that she could acknowledge it at least, but unfortunately, having the knowledge that she wasn’t fine didn’t make her any more fine. What was she really not fine about anyway? As she had established to both herself and Olivia, she didn’t like her mother. Her mother didn’t like her. What was it a problem that she was soon to be in a coffin, rotting for the rest of eternity?

(Maybe the problem was that she thought like that).

Shaking off her internal debate, she focused on preparing for an arraignment later in the day.

“Alex,” Alex looked up at the sound of her name.

“Hey Liz,” she replied with a smile.

“How are you doing?” Liz asked, sitting in the chair facing Alex’s desk. 

“I’m fine,” Alex said, dismissing the question.

“Like hell you are.”

Liz’s reply surprised Alex, so much so that she didn’t reply immediately. Even if she wasn’t okay, she was normally quite proficient at hiding it. Apparently, today was an exception.

“Why do you think that?” Alex asked carefully. Maybe Liz didn't actually know and was just trying to trap her into admitting she wasn’t okay. 

(Or, maybe she should stop assuming that every nice person in her life that wasn’t named Olivia had ulterior motives).

Liz rolled her eyes, obviously finding Alex’s question the pinnacle of idiocy. “I do have eyes you know. You’re fidgety. Exhausted. Pale. Even thinner than usual. Ringing any bells?”

Alex sighed. Only Liz Donnelly could insult her multiple times in the midst of inquiring about her well being. 

“I am _fine_ ,” she replied, glaring at her.

“Yes, the angry toddler glare that you are shooting at me definitely tells me that you would like me to think that. Unfortunately, you are not a toddler, but a grown woman, and I don’t buy it. What is your problem?”

“Nothing.”

“Tell me Cabot, or you’ll be out of work until you do.”

"You can't do that," Alex protested.

"Try me."

Alex sighed. Was her pride really worth her job? A definite part of her said yes, but another part of her begged her to just give it up. The second part won out, in the end.

“If I have been a little out of sorts-”

Liz snorted.

“If I have been,” Alex continued. “It is probably because my mother has been sick, and died yesterday.”

Liz stared at her, unusually silent. 

“What?” Alex asked impatiently.

“You’re joking, right? Please tell me that you’re joking,” Liz said, almost pleadingly. 

“Why would I be joking about that?” Alex asked, confused.

“Are you telling me that your mother died yesterday, and yet here you are, at work, today?”

“... _Yeah_ ,” Alex replied, her tone nervous. It appeared from Liz’s expression that she had chosen the wrong answer.

“Get out.”

Alex met Liz’s eyes dead-on, hoping to convey the mixture of annoyance, anger, and confusion that she was currently feeling.

“What?” she asked.

“Get out Cabot. That is an order. You aren’t irreplaceable and are in no shape to work after a major emotional trauma. Get out and come back after the funeral,” Liz said firmly.

“I wasn’t even close to my mother, I’m fine,” Alex protested, but Liz wasn’t having it.

“I don’t know how you managed to get Benson to allow you to come to work, but you are leaving. Focus on yourself Cabot, your political aspirations won’t be crushed and your future ruined because you took some personal time. So use it.”

Alex glared at Liz, but knew that this battle was one she couldn’t win. “Fine,” she said her voice clipped.

“This isn’t a punishment Alex,” Liz said as Alex packed up her belongings. “I genuinely just want you to take some time for yourself. Hard as it may be to believe, I care for you.”

Alex raised an eyebrow at that but swallowed her retort. “I understand, thank you,” she said stiffly, before leaving.

Olivia expected to return home to an empty apartment, Alex still busy whittling away at the cases assigned to her. Instead, she opened the door to find Alex curled up on the couch, watching a Hallmark Christmas movie and eating (slightly burnt) microwave popcorn.

“Hey sweetie,” she greeted her quietly. “I thought you were at work?”

“Liz sent me home,” she said bitterly, her eyes glued to the screen. “I was so stupid, I should have lied.”

“Lied about what?” Olivia asked, both confused and concerned.

“She could tell that something was wrong, and pressed me until I finally told her that my mom died. Then she got angry that I came to work under the circumstances and sent me home,” Alex explained indignantly.

“Was she mad or worried?” Olivia asked.

“Mad,” Alex said decisively, before turning thoughtful. “Maybe a little worried.”

“Or maybe she was mad because she was worried,” Olivia suggested. “Liz cares about you, babe. She probably just didn’t want you to subject yourself to too much too soon.”

Alex didn’t respond, her eyes following the saccharine love story playing out on the screen instead.

“I agree with her decision,” Olivia continued, causing Alex to immediately whip her head around to face her in betrayal. “I know I said that I was fine with you going into work, but I should have protested more. You should be focusing on yourself right now, not your cases.”

“You’re such a hypocrite!” Alex protested. “You worked straight through your mother’s death!”

“And I don’t know whether I should have,” Olivia responded quietly. “But my life choices notwithstanding, you aren’t taking good care of yourself, and I know, and you know, and Liz knows, that your self-destruction will only hurt your performance at work.”

“Fine,” Alex responded with a small huff, before turning back to the movie.

Olivia sighed but decided the best course of action for her to undertake would be avoidance. Alex needed some alone time (and a good therapist but Olivia hadn’t completely lost her mind or will to live yet and therefore was _not_ going to suggest that to her emotionally exhausted girlfriend).

Over the next few days, Olivia grew to almost admire her girlfriend’s avoidance techniques. She might be acting ridiculous, but if Alexandra Cabot didn’t want to talk about something, it would not be talked about, much to Olivia’s eternal chagrin.

She would engage in simple conversations of course. The obligatory “Hey, how are you?” “Fine, how are you?” “Good, thanks,” becoming a quick favorite, but if Olivia’s look changed from friendliness to even mild concern, Alex would become more impenetrable than Rikers Island. 

The trip to the morgue was in itself a special kind of hell. Alex had simply looked at the body impassively, before leaving without a word. 

“What was the point of even coming?” Olivia asked, slightly annoyed at having to make the trip only for Alex to stare at the body for ten seconds and leave, especially with the Roberts case having no leads and needing round the clock investigation.

“I just wanted to check,” Alex said cryptically.

Olivia _loved_ Alex. Fiercely. Unfortunately, she was also one more unemotional response or cryptic comment away from actually murdering the woman.

Finally, the day before the funeral, Olivia had enough. “We’re talking,” she announced as she entered the kitchen, where Alex barely looked up from the cup of coffee that she had been studying.”

“We are?” Alex asked with mock interest. “About what?” 

There were many possible replies to that question, but Olivia decided it was in her best interest to approach the question with at least _some_ sensitivity.

“Your mother.”

(In her defense, she had decided to approach with some sensitivity, not a lot).

“My favorite topic,” Alex replied drily. 

“Exactly,” Olivia replied. “You’ve been avoiding the topic, but you can’t for much longer. Her funeral is tomorrow!”

“So?” Alex asked, arching an eyebrow.

Apathetic Alex was probably Olivia’s least favorite Alex. Livid Alex was scary, but she was also kind of hot at the very least, while Drunk Alex was embarrassing, yet also amusing. Apathetic Alex though was cold, uncaring, and mean. 

“Alex, you’re going to have to face all these unresolved issues at some point, and its best if you face them at home, with me.”

“I don’t have any unresolved issues.”

Olivia didn’t even find that statement worthy of reply, and instead just fixed Alex with a skeptical look.

In the face of Olivia’s glare, which came off more worried than angry, Alex eventually relented. “I’ve already told you everything,” she said. “I just don’t know how to feel about this, and I don’t like being confused.”

“You need to cry,” Olivia said decisively.

“Excuse me?” Alex asked. Whatever response Alex had been expecting, it appeared that it hadn’t been that.

“Have you cried? At all? Since your mom died?” Olivia asked the blonde.

“Not really,” Alex replied. “Why should I? I cried before she died and I've already worked through everything.”

“Because you _haven't_ worked through everything and you need to let out all your emotions. The sadness, the confusion, the resentment. I would know, I did that after my mom died,” Olivia informed her.

“So when are you receiving your therapist certification?”

Olivia glared at Alex. “You might not like it, but I am right.”

“I don’t doubt that you think you are,” Alex said. “Everyone handles grief differently babe.”

“I’m right on this,” Olivia said stubbornly. “I don’t want you to do this for me, I want you to do this for you.”

“Saint Olivia Benson knows what’s best for everyone except herself.”

Olivia ignored the short flash of hurt that shot through her at Alex’s comment and continued. It was mean, but she was lashing out in hopes of forcing Olivia to stop and Olivia wasn’t going to give in.

“I don’t, I just want you to be happy babe,” Olivia said quietly. “I love you, I’m not out to get you. Please remember that.”

Alex dismissed Olivia’s advice at first. A hot burst of resentment shot through her at the famously self-destructive brunette telling her what to do. _What did she know anyway?_

Ignoring her girlfriend’s advice, she continued watching the perfect people onscreen lead their happy lives filled with silly Christmas drama, rather than face her own life.

Olivia finally relented and started cooking dinner, despite likely knowing that she would be the only one eating. 

Alex ignored her clattering in the background as she focused on the movie. Despite how pathetic it was, she was jealous. Jealous of the perfect lives, perfect marriages, and perfect kids shown onscreen. Meanwhile, her life had been anything but, starting from her conception in a drunken, one-night stand in her mother’s party girl days.

Those days were the first thing Alex’s mother resented her for, but certainly weren’t the last. 

Maybe their parents were why she and Olivia were drawn to each other. Fathers who didn’t care about them and mothers who resented them. It was no wonder that they were so emotionally screwed up.

“Babe, do you want some chicken?” Olivia’s voice broke Alex out of her reverie.

“No thanks,” Alex replied, her eyes glued to the TV.

“You need to eat.”

Olivia phrased it, not as a request, but as a statement.

Alex turned around and met Olivia's eyes. “I am fine, thank you,” she said, enunciating each word clearly.

“You are eating,” Olivia said, holding Alex’s gaze as she made a plate and brought it over to her.

Alex glared, but as she looked at the chicken, her stomach grumbled.

Olivia looked triumphant.

“Fine,” Alex said, with a sigh, taking the plate. “Thank you,” she said.

“You’re very welcome,” Olivia said, her voice ever so slightly smug.

Alex rolled her eyes, but ate nevertheless, her lack of eating and sleep having taken a toll on her.

“You’re lucky you’re pretty,” she said as she washed her plate after she had finished eating.

“ _You’re_ lucky I’m pretty,” Olivia corrected with a smile.

“Maybe,” Alex said, as she put the plate in the cabinet. “You do nag though.”

“You don’t take care of yourself. What am I supposed to do, let you slowly waste away?”

“Yes,” Alex replied.

Olivia rolled her eyes in exasperation. ”Wrong answer,” she said as she finished her own plate.

“I didn’t know there was one,” Alex said, leaning against the cabinet as Olivia washed her own plate and put it away.

“Always is one,” Olivia replied cheerfully as her beeper went off.

Olivia sighed as she listened to the message. “Sorry babe, we just caught a break in the Roberts case. Would you mind if I stopped at work? I’ll try to make it quick.”

“Sure,” Alex replied. “As long as you're home in time for the funeral,” she added.

“Don’t worry babe, I will be,” Olivia said, before kissing her quickly on the cheek. “Love you.”

“Love you too,” Alex replied.

After Olivia left, all Alex felt was tired.

Deciding to go to sleep early, she quickly got ready for bed and laid down. As she did though, the events of the previous few days all piled on top of her and she started crying. 

Allowing all the feelings that she had hidden away to finally come out, she cried herself to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ik this chapter is a little similar to the last chapter, but it'll probably be the last "angsty alex who won't talk to olivia" chapter for a while. since the next two chapters will be a little shorter, i'll post the next one on sunday. stay safe!


	3. funeral suprises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which alex's mother gives her a post-mortem surprise.

After staying up half the night trying to put together the pieces of the Roberts case, Olivia returned home, exhausted and upset. The evidence that the detectives thought was their break in the case had turned out to simply be a misdirection and they had ended up with one less suspect and no more clues than before. 

Quietly entering their apartment, Olivia put away her gun and locked the door. She crept into her bedroom, taking pains not to wake her sleeping girlfriend.

Changing and climbing into bed, Olivia felt a pang of concern as she realized that her girlfriend’s face was sticky with tears. 

Olivia was about to go to sleep when she noticed Alex stirring slightly.

“Hey you,” she said softly as Alex’s eyes slowly opened. “I see you took my advice.”

“Yeah,” Alex responded, her voice sleepy. “It worked, I think. Maybe you do have a use other than being pretty, a good cook, and a badass detective.”

“That’s good,” Olivia replied with a little laugh as she brushed Alex’s hair gently out of her face. “I was worried that those were my only purposes.”

Alex smiled a sleepy smile.”I look like a mess, don’t I?” she asked.

“A little,” Olivia admitted. “But a cute mess, if it makes you feel any better.”

Alex looked at her thoughtfully for a second before nodding her head. “It does,” she said with a smile.

Olivia curled up next to her, and they fell asleep in one another’s embrace.

Olivia woke up the next morning to a rare sight. Alexandra Cabot, cooking. From experience, Olivia knew that Alex could barely microwave, much less cook, and Olivia had been unaware that she even was capable of making pancakes. 

“This is new,” she commented as she entered the kitchen. “Interesting how _today_ is the day you decide to display your secret cooking skills.”

Alex shot her a glare as she attempted to flip a pancake, which landed on the counter next to the skillet. “I have good cooking skills."

“I can see that," Olivia commented as she glanced at the half-cooked pancake on the counter before dipping her finger into the batter and licking it.

“Ew,” Alex commented, wrinkling her nose.

“Problem?” Olivia asked, amused.

“You're gross.”

“You’re uptight.”

They stared at each other for a second before they simultaneously burst into laughter. Maybe it was tiredness or their haywire emotions, but everything was a little bit funnier to them than usual.

After their laughter stopped, Alex carefully transferred the (barely) cooked pancakes from the skillet to a plate and placed them down on the counter.

“You’re lucky I’m a kind and loving girlfriend,” she said as Olivia eyed the pancakes warily.

“They are edible, right?” Olivia asked, looking nervously between the pancakes and their creator.

“Yes,” Alex said with great offense, whacking Olivia lightly with the spatula. 

Olivia gave her a grin. “Just checking,” she said sweetly.

Alex gave her a glare but set two plates and some syrup down nevertheless. “Enjoy,” she said dryly, sliding a fork across the table before getting one for herself.

“Thanks babe,” Olivia replied.

They talked about work and current events for a little bit before either one of them attempted to broach the event occurring later in the day. Finally, Olivia gathered up the courage.

“Alex,” she said softly. “We should really talk about this afternoon.”

“Sure, what?”

Olivia was a little surprised. She hadn’t expected Alex to be this open after the past few days, but it appeared that Alex had come around.

“Everything’s in place, right?” Olivia checked.

“Yep,” Alex replied. “A funeral, viewing, and burial. All good.”

“How are you feeling?” Olivia checked.

“Better,” Alex responded. “As I said last night, shockingly your advice helped. I cried my feelings out I guess.”

Olivia was proud to say that her smile was only mostly smug. “I do know a lot about dealing with tragedy,” she reminded her.

“I know,” Alex replied with a smile. “I’m sorry I’ve been so pouty and uncooperative.”

“It’s fine,” Olivia replied, waving it off. “It’s just your way of dealing with everything. I get it.”

Alex smiled at her and finished the pancake.

Alex could feel Olivia sneaking a worried glance at her as they stood outside the funeral home. Alex had made it clear that she was fine, but that did nothing to stop Olivia’s everpresent worries over Alex’s mental state.

“You okay?” Olivia asked for what was probably the sixth time in the last two minutes. 

“I’m fine, let’s go in,” Alex replied quietly.

Olivia nodded and followed Alex inside the funeral home, where most of the guests had been seated.

“Alex, is that you?”

Alex turned at the sound of the vaguely familiar voice. “David,” she greeted him with a smile. “It’s been a while.”

Out of her numerous stepfathers, David was probably her favorite. While _some_ (Richard, William) completely ignored her existence, _others_ (Charles, Henry) flat out disliked her. David though had been almost a father figure to her and had made sporadic contact with her since his and Katherine’s divorce over 10 years prior.

“How have you been?” David asked, with a smile. “I’m sorry about your mother, I know that you loved her, despite her faults.”

“I’ve been good,” Alex replied with a smile. “It is sad about my mother, but it wasn’t a shock, and I’ve had plenty of time to process her death.”

“That’s good,” David replied with a smile. “I was worried about you when I heard the news.”

“Thank you,” Alex replied with a smile before gesturing to Olivia.”This is my girlfriend, Olivia Benson. Olivia, this is my favorite ex-stepfather, David Ingram.”

David smiled at Olivia, “Pleasure to meet you,” he said, extending his arm.

“Nice to meet you too,” Olivia replied, shaking his hand.

“I’m glad to see you in a relationship Alex, especially considering your mother’s… opinions,” David said.

Alex winced. “I forgot that you were there when I came out to her,” she said.

“I think that was why I delayed the divorce papers for so long,” David replied. “As much as I disliked your mother, I had serious qualms over leaving you alone with her.”

“Thank you for that,” Alex said. “I’m just shocked that my sexual orientation didn’t get me written out of the will.”

“She’s probably hoping that her generosity post-mortem will inspire you to become straight,” David said with a small laugh.

“Quite possibly,” Alex said, smiling at him before they moved down the rows of chairs to the front, Alex pointing out faces she recognized

“That’s Richard. He was married to Mom for two years when I was a toddler. Left her for someone younger apparently.”

“What is he? 90?”

“Probably, he was ancient when he was married to Mom. She was probably hoping he would die on her. Unfortunately, it looks like the bastard might actually be immortal.”

Olivia snorted at that.

Alex moved her finger. “That’s Charles. He tried to kill me once.”

 _“What?_.”

The look of shock on Olivia’s face was comical.

“Yeah, I woke up to him holding a knife over me. I screamed, he got scared, hid the knife. I told my mom, but she didn’t believe me. On the plus side, he didn’t try to kill me again after that though. They were married for 2 years.”

“That’s awful,” Olivia said, curling her fingers over Alex’s non-pointing hand.

“I guess,” Alex replied, before moving her hand again. “That’s William. I don’t think he spoke to me once in the six years that he was married to Mom.”

“Really?” Olivia asked incredulously.

“Yeah,” Alex replied. “I mean, to be fair he was the 5th husband and I was out of the house, so it wasn’t as if I was very interested in him either. I only saw him a handful of times.”

“Still,” Olivia replied quietly. "That’s sad."

Alex shrugged, before pointing at another man. “This lovely man is Henry. “He is the reason I was in boarding school for four years. He hated me. Thought I asked too many questions. He was was also a defense attorney and that may explain why I dedicated my life to fighting them."

Olivia nodded “That actually makes a lot of sense,” she said thoughtfully. “Was that all five?”

“Yep,” Alex replied. “I only am willing to speak to David though, if any of the others try and talk to me please pretend that you are Katherine’s long lost niece and I am your girlfriend who is not related at all to Katherine Cabot despite my strong resemblance to her daughter Alexandra.”

“Sure,” Olivia replied. “Am I her brother or sister’s kid?”

“Her sister’s, that way you can keep your surname,” Alex informed her.

“Why do I feel like you planned this out beforehand?” Olivia asked her.

“Because I did,” Alex said cheerfully.

“Figured,” Olivia replied. “Anyone else here that you know?”

Alex looked around. “Other than the exes, it mostly just seems to be Mom’s society friends, who I _hate_ , so same story for them please.”

Olivia nodded.

“It doesn’t look like Uncle Bill came,” Alex said, more to herself than anyone else.

“Your judge uncle?” Olivia checked.

“Yeah,” Alex replied. “I’m not surprised if I’m being honest. He loves me, but hates my mother.”

“Still, it would have been good for you if he was here,” Olivia said quietly.

“Probably wouldn’t have been good for him though,” Alex replied before she continued scanning the crowd.

“That’s my mom’s sometimes best friend, Genevieve and- Oh!” Alex stopped, one of the faces in the crowd surprising her.

“What?” Olivia asked, noticing Alex’s surprise.

“That’s her daughter, Elizabeth,” Alex said softly. “She was my best friend for a while. My first kiss too. I haven’t seen her in years.”

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “Should I be worried?” she asked

Alex rolled her eyes. “What do you think?” she asked.

“Probably not,” Olivia replied slowly.

“Correct,” Alex replied. “I probably should go over and say hello though, and would prefer it if you would join me in that endeavor.”

“Sure,” Olivia agreed, as she followed Alex over to a petite redhead speaking with an older woman.

“Elizabeth,” Alex said in greeting. 

The redhead looked up. “Alex!” she greeted enthusiastically. “It’s been so long,” she said before her face fell. “I’m sorry about your mother.”

“It’s fine,” Alex said dismissively. “We weren’t close. You know that.”

“Yeah,” Elizabeth nodded.

Alex smiled at the older woman.”Hi Mrs. Platt,” she greeted.

“Hi Alex sweetie,” Genevive replied. “Also, as I have instructed you _many_ times before, please call me Genevive. We’re all adults here.”

"This is my girlfriend, Olivia,” Alex said, introducing her to the both of them, before repeating her earlier introduction to the two to Olivia. 

“Liv, this is my mom’s friend Genevive and her daughter Elizabeth.”

“Hi,” Olivia greeted them before shaking their hands. “It’s nice to meet both of you.”

“Nice to meet you too,” Genevive replied with a smile. “You two make an adorable couple, how long have you been together?”

“Around two years,” Alex responded. “How about you Elizabeth? Any prospects?”

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose. “Not currently,” she replied. “My last engagement ended awfully and Mom has some _interesting_ ideas over who I should date.

Genevive looked offended. “I just want the best for my daughter,” she defended herself.

“Well, you certainly aren’t showing that,” Elizabeth responded playfully.

Just then, the chaplain arrived, signaling that the service was about to begin.

“Looks like the service is about to start, we should get going,” Alex said to the two women.”It was nice seeing you two!"

“Nice seeing you too,” Genevive and Elizabeth responded in unison.

Alex somehow managed to sit through the entire funeral service without rolling her eyes even once, and she considered that a win. She couldn’t completely contain a smirk when Henry talked about how getting to know Katherine Cabot and her daughter, Alexandra was one of the greatest blessings of his life. It was just so heinously untrue that it was funny. 

When it was time for Alex to give the eulogy though, she knew that she’d be perpetuating the same myth as everybody else. 

“Good morning,” she greeted the small crowd. “Today, we are here in memory of my mother, Katherine Cabot. To describe my mother as being strong-willed would absolutely be an understatement.” 

_Cue the knowing laughs from the crowd._

“Mom knew what she wanted, and would get it no matter what stood in her way. Whether it was a job, a dress, or a husband, she was unstoppable,” Alex continued. “I’m sure every person here has, possibly as a result of her strong will, had a disagreement with my mother at one point or another.” 

_More knowing (if slightly awkward) laughter._

“Despite any disagreements, we may have had with Katherine Cabot though, we all knew that under her snobby veneer, she was a kind and caring woman who would stop at nothing to protect the people that she loved.” 

That was just a flat out lie, but thankfully none of the people in the crowd called her out on it. (Well, it was technically possible that it was true since Alex wasn’t sure if her mother actually loved anyone and in that case, would just have had nobody to protect.) 

Even though I fought almost constantly with my mother, and our relationship had its ups and downs, I’ll miss you and I love you Mom.” 

Alex finished her (likely world-record-setting in its brevity) eulogy and sat down, pasting an obviously fake smile on her face for the benefit of the crowd. 

“You’re great at lying, it’s a little terrifying,” Olivia whispered to her. 

“I’m not a lawyer for nothing,” Alex responded, keeping her eyes fixed on the coffin. 

After the ceremony, Alex kept her smile firmly pasted on for the viewing, where she robotically accepted the condolences offered to her. 

She was lucky Olivia was willing to let her use her hand as a stress ball, otherwise, there was a high possibility that she would have snapped. 

“I hate this,” she muttered to Olivia as the last of the ‘mourners’ left and it was just them, the funeral home employees, and her mother’s corpse. 

Olivia nodded sympathetically, “It feels so fake.” 

“That’s because it is,” Alex replied with a heavy sigh. “We should probably get ready to go to the burial.” 

The burial was awkward, if nothing else, considering that the only mourners there were Olivia (who had never even met the woman) and Alex (who hadn’t spoken to her mother in years) silently watching the casket being lowered into the ground. 

“I need a drink,” Alex said heavily after the headstone and obligatory bouquet of flowers were placed, as she and Olivia sat in Olivia’s car. 

“I second that,” Olivia agreed. “But we have to talk to your Mom’s lawyer about what’s in her will first,” she reminded her. 

Alex sighed. “Why do I even have to do this? We all know I’m the sole heir, unless if she has some secret child stashed away somewhere.” 

Olivia laughed. “Probably just protocol,” she assumed. “Either way, we should get going.” 

Alex nodded reluctantly and Olivia began driving. 

Alex and Olivia entered the offices of Greene, Willet, and Roache apprehensively. Despite already knowing what the estate lawyer was likely to tell them, it didn’t mean they didn’t have their worries. After all, Katherine Cabot could be spiteful when she wanted to, and nothing _required_ her to bequeath her entire estate to her only child. 

“Counselor,” Alex greeted the man, who sitting behind an impressive mahogany desk. 

“Ms. Cabot?” he checked. 

Alex nodded. 

“Nice to meet you,” he greeted them, in a fashion that could best be described as ‘slimy’. 

“You too,” Alex replied, pasting on the fake smile she had become quite accustomed to in the last few hours. 

“I apologize to have to call you in, but your mother insisted quite firmly that I give you this note in person to ensure that you see it.” 

Alex raised an eyebrow. _This was going to be good_. 

He handed her an index card-sized piece of paper that Allex recognized as bearing her mother’s impossibly neat penmanship. 

Alex furrowed an eyebrow as she began reading it (out loud for Olivia’s benefit). 

“‘Dearest Alex’. Starting with the sarcasm early I see,” Alex couldn’t help but add in her own commentary as she read. 

“‘Unfortunately, I have been keeping something from you’. _Lovely_ ,” Alex stopped as her eyes scanned over the next sentence though, and shock permeated her voice as she read the next sentence. 

“I gave birth to a daughter when I was 17. I gave her up for adoption immediately, of course, I couldn’t raise a child at that age. It wouldn’t be right or proper. I understand it may be hard to believe, so for verification, you can find her birth certificate in the top left drawer in my desk in my study. I had no interest in finding her, but you may if you wish. Her adopted parents informed me after the fact that her name is Kerry Weaver.” 

Alex let the piece of paper fall to the floor as she shared a wide-eyed glance with Olivia, both of them radiating pure shock. 

“What the _hell_ ,” Alex muttered as she stared at the note on the floor. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for some reason i've really been on a writing kick recently. next chapter should be posted on friday and i'll be posting a fun cabenson one-shot on tuesday that will be fluffy and *might* have a little smut. (its 50/50 right now as to whether i'll keep it in and will ultimately depend on how awkward it seems upon reread lmao). stay safe!


	4. chicago bound

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which alex deals with some new information

_This can’t be happening._

As Alex stared at the note on the floor, the only emotion that she felt was disbelief. The entire situation was just _so ridiculous_. She had a biological sister that her mom had given up for adoption? It made no sense.

Alex looked at Olivia to see whether her reaction was in the same vein and was relieved to see that she looked just as confused as Alex was. 

As she processed the situation, she tuned out the lawyer’s spiel, but was jolted into reality at his “Ms. Cabot?”

“Yes?"

“Do you have any questions?”

 _Several thousand._

“No,” Alex replied, her voice small. _What was she supposed to say?_

“Good,” the lawyer responded, blissfully unaware of the existential crisis that Alex was having in front of him. “I’ll read you her will then.”

Alex listened numbly as the lawyer informed her that her mother had bequeathed the entirety of her estate to her. 

_At least there weren’t any more surprises._

After being informed of all the technical details by the lawyer, Alex practically stumbled out of the room, Olivia right behind her.

Olivia looked at her apprehensively. “So, what do you think?” she asked quietly.

Alex let out a short, bitter laugh. “What the hell am I supposed to think? This situation is just so _implausible_ and _ridiculous_ , I can barely process it.”

“Neither can I,” Olivia agreed. “Why didn’t she tell you while she was alive?”

“I don’t know,” Alex responded softly. “Probably the shame. I doubt her society friends would have reacted well to the information.”

“Still, you’re her daughter, she should have told you!”

“Maybe she did this on purpose just to torment me from beyond the grave since she couldn’t write me out of the will.”

“With your mother, who knows,” Olivia responded. “So what do you want to do?” 

Alex knew that if she said the word, Olivia would gladly forget about this. They could just live their lives as normal, pretending that this situation had just been a weird dream, instead of life-altering information.

As much as Alex liked the idea though, she _couldn’t_. Alex could never leave things well enough alone, and she knew that she wouldn’t be able to rest until she found her sister.

“Let’s go to my mother’s house,” Alex responded decisively. “I want to see proof. I want to see the birth certificate.”

Olivia didn’t look surprised at Alex’s decision, merely resigned. “I figured as much,” she said as they exited the lawyer’s office. “It’s in Westchester, right?”

“It is, I can navigate,” Alex replied.

The car ride there was mostly silent except for Alex’s directions as both women processed the situation they had found themselves in.

Finally, they pulled up in front of an attractive colonial-style house that sat atop a small hill.

“So this is where you grew up,” Olivia said after parking the car, staring up at the house. “It looks _exactly_ as I pictured it.”

Alex let out a small laugh. “I’m sure. I would've been pretty popular if I was the type to have house parties.”

“You mean, you weren’t?” Olivia asked in mock surprise.

“No, I was more the type to go to debate tournaments every weekend and student council meetings after school.”

“ _You_? That’s so unlike you!” 

As Olivia opened her car door, Alex gave her a playful shove. “I see your sarcasm decided to join us today,” she commented.

Olivia smirked at her in reply, before they made the trek up the long, winding driveway towards the house.

“This driveway is unnecessarily long,” Olivia complained as they reached the top.

“You don’t need to tell me,” Alex replied. “Imagine having to make this trip twice a day, every day for about fourteen years.”

Olivia winced in sympathy.

Alex felt herself grow apprehensive as they reached the door of the house. She wasn’t sure whether she even wanted this to be true or not. Maybe this was all just some elaborate hoax designed by her mother in her last moments to torture her daughter one last time.

(Alex doubted it, but she wouldn’t put anything past her mother.)

“It’s in the study, right?” Olivia checked as they entered the house.

“It should be,” Alex replied as she led Olivia up the stairs.

Alex paused once they reached the top as she looked at a closed door to the right. “That was my bedroom,” she said softly.

“Do you want to go inside?”

“No,” Alex replied, shaking her head. “I’m perfectly fine with that chapter of my life staying closed.”

She then led Olivia into the study, before staring at the desk centered within contemplatively. 

“It’s funny,” she said slowly. “I’ve never actually looked inside Mom’s desk before. Not that I ever knew what she did in here anyway. It’s not as if she had a job, she just lived off of Grandfather’s money.”

“You have your chance now,” Olivia replied.

Alex nodded and slowly moved closer to the desk and opened the drawer. She stared inside for a second before she looked back up, her heart pounding at the confirmation.

“It’s in here,” she said softly, pulling out the certificate and handing it to Olivia.

“It looks legit,” Olivia said as she inspected it.

“It is,” Alex said quietly, before letting out a small laugh. “You know, when I was younger I would have given _anything_ to have another sibling. I used to beg my mom to have another child because of how lonely I was, but she always shut me down instantly. She always said that one was more than enough and that I should go make some friends if I was that lonely.”

“That’s caring of her,” Olivia replied sarcastically. 

“Yeah, caring is the _perfect_ word to describe her,” Alex said with a little laugh.

Olivia glanced between the certificate in her hand and Alex quickly. “Are you okay with everything?” she asked, her tone turning serious.

Alex stared at the certificate in Olivia’s hands for a moment before replying, her voice small. “No, I don’t think that I am Liv.”

At her words, Olivia gathered her into a hug and Alex felt her facade break. She started crying quietly, her face pressed into Olivia.

“It’s okay,” Olivia murmured quietly, rubbing her back in a circular motion.”You’re okay. Everything’s okay.”

Alex just cried, not knowing what else to do. 

Olivia looked at Alex’s sleeping form worriedly as she made some coffee. While she was glad that Alex allowed herself to open up to her, she hated seeing Alex hurting. She had taken so many emotional blows recently that Olivia was worried that the new information had tipped her over the edge.

“Alex?” Olivia asked quietly as she entered the bedroom holding two cups of coffee. “Alex sweetie, wake up please.”

Alex stirred and Olivia sat down next to her on the bed, placing one of the coffees on the nightstand next to it.

She waited as Alex slowly woke up, rubbing the sleep from her eyes.

“Here,” Olivia said softly, handing her the coffee that she was still holding.

“Thanks,” Alex replied, her voice still sleepy. 

Olivia smiled. “How did you sleep?” she asked quietly.

“Like a baby,” Alex replied with a small smile. “If I knew that crying helped me sleep this well, I’d cry a lot more frequently.”

“You should,” Olivia said. “Get it off your chest.”

Alex nodded silently, her face pensive. “I was thinking,” she said slowly. “I think I want to find her. My sister”

Olivia wasn’t surprised at Alex’s answer, especially since she had hinted as much earlier. “Are you sure?” she asked.

“Yeah,” Alex replied. “It might be a little awkward, telling her once we find her, but I just want to _know_.”

Olivia nodded. “I can understand that,” she said quietly.

After all, she herself would give almost anything to _know_ about her father, wouldn’t she?

“How would we find her though?” 

“I’m banking on the internet,” Alex said with a small smile.

“Let’s hope she has some kind of public record,” Olivia said.

“Watch it be a criminal record,” Alex predicted grimly.

“Woman murders brunette girlfriend,” Olivia teased.

“If she steals that headline from me, I’m going to be annoyed.”

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “You planning to murder me?” 

“Yeah,” Alex replied nonchalantly. “It’s what eventually happens to all of them.”

“All of who?” 

“My girlfriends,” Alex replied, her tone neutral as she put her half-empty coffee cup onto the nightstand.

“That’s concerning,” Olivia said. “It sounds like something the NYPD should look into.”

“I don’t think the NYPD should do that,” Alex warned. “Or, one of their detectives might be next.”

“Which one?” Olivia asked, her eyes wide. 

“The short-haired brunette probably,” Alex replied, straight-faced.

“That’s worrying, someone should warn her!” Olivia exclaimed in exaggerated fear.

“Do that,” Alex said softly, leaning in closer to Olivia. “And I’ll just have to kill you, won’t I?” she asked, before kissing her.

Olivia leaned into the kiss eagerly, all thoughts of Alex’s complicated family situation forgotten.

“Liv, do you have work?” Alex asked quietly.

“No,” Olivia replied, turning on her side to face Alex.

“Do you want to do some research?” Alex suggested, making no effort to get up.

“Why not?” Olivia asked, slowly sitting up and getting off the bed.

Sighing heavily, Alex followed Olivia’s example and got up. 

A few minutes later, they were in front of the computer, armed with two coffees, a notepad, and a birth certificate.

They typed _Kerry Weaver_ into the search bar, and the two waited in anticipation for the results to load.

The first thing to come up was an online phonebook entry.

_Kerry Weaver, 43, Chicago._

“Could that be her?” Olivia asked. 

“It could be,” Alex said quietly, mentally doing the math.

“My mom is 60, had her when she was 17, yeah that’s 43.”

“Wow,” Olivia said. “We’re lucky. I mean, there are probably only so many 43-year-old Kerry Weavers in the United States.”

Alex looked at Olivia thoughtfully. “Would you be up for a trip to Chicago?” she asked, taking note of the listed address.

“Why not?” Olivia asked. “I’ve probably accrued a few years of paid vacation by now, why not use a little of it?”

“That’s the spirit,” Alex replied with a smile. “Donnelly might actually have a heart attack when I ask her to take a week of leave.”

Olivia pouted. “If she has a heart attack and I miss it, I’m going to be mad.”

Alex paused. “Should we really be joking about her having a heart attack?” she asked.

Olivia rolled her eyes at Alex's concern. "It's not as if it's actually going to happen. You need to have a heart in order to have a heart attack, so Liz is probably in the clear."

“Fair point,” Alex acknowledged.

“Liz, I need a week off.”

For a second, Alex thought that her earlier prediction might actually come true, as Liz stared at her, motionless, in shock.

“You willingly taking a week off? Whatever Benson has on you must be good.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “It was my decision actually. We decided it might be a good time to visit some family with everything that’s going on right now.”

Liz smiled at her, and Alex was proud that she had managed to elicit the rare gesture from the usually stern woman. “I’m glad,” she said. “You need some time to unwind and relax. If I’m being honest, you have for a while. 3 years, if I’m being specific.”

Alex sighed but smiled at Liz nevertheless. “So, it’s okay for me to take a week off?” she checked.

“Yes,” Liz assured her. “I think we will manage to survive without you for a week.”

Alex raised an eyebrow. “We’ll see,” she replied.

“Have fun Cabot,” Liz said with a smile.

“Thanks Liz,” Alex replied. “Maybe I’ll bring you back a souvenir from Chicago.”

“I hope you’re joking!” Liz called as Alex left.

Alex smiled in satisfaction as she left Liz’s office. For most people, it would be a little difficult for them to take a week off on a whim, but for once Alex’s years of workaholism had come in handy.

Heading home, Alex decided to start planning their trip. After looking online and making a few calls, she managed to book a hotel and a last-minute flight for the next day.

Dialing a familiar number, she decided to inform Olivia of her progress.

“Benson.”

“Liv, I'm calling you from our home phone. You must have known that it was me calling you.”

“Protocol honey,” Olivia replied. “Anyways, what’s up?”

“Not much, I just wanted to tell you that I booked a hotel and a flight for tomorrow. Have you talked to Cragen yet?”

“No, I wiIl at the end of my shift,” Olivia replied. “Don’t worry, I’m sure it’ll be fine with him though.”

“How’s the case by the way?”

“We found a print in the bedroom, and now we’re just praying that the killer was sloppy. It’s been days and I just want this case to be over.”

“How was the print not found on the first search?”

“I don’t know,” Olivia replied, her annoyance evident. “CSU fucked up on this one.”

“Evidently. I should start packing, good luck Liv,” Alex said.

“Love you babe,” Olivia responded.

“Love you too,” Alex replied before hanging up. 

Alex sighed as she started packing. Although she felt bad for Olivia, she was glad to have some time to process everything. Despite being interested in finding her sister, there were so many unknown variables to worry about.

_What if she was the wrong person?_

_What if she was homophobic?_

_What if she didn’t want to know her?_

_What if she didn’t know she was adopted?_

There were countless negative outcomes, but Alex was trying to stay positive. After all, any of those negatives could come true, but so could any one of the many positive outcomes. 

Worst case scenario, she and Olivia would just have a nice vacation in Chicago. There was really no harm in at least trying to find her sister.

“The fingerprints matched Roberts’s neighbor. We’re going to arrest him and get his DNA, hopefully, it’ll match the DNA in Roberts.”

Olivia smiled. After days of investigation, they finally had gotten him. 

“Finally,” she said happily before pausing. “Captain, could I talk to you for a second?”

Cragen looked at her with interest. “Sure, let’s talk in my office.”

Olivia followed him into his office and shut the door behind her.

“I was wondering if I could take some time off?” she asked.

Cragen looked at her with surprise. “This is unexpected,” he commented. “Why?”

“Alex had a recent loss in her family, so we wanted to go visit some of her other family,” Olivia replied.

“That’s unfortunate, tell Alex that I’m sorry for her loss. It’s fine with me, how much time do you need?”

“A week probably,” Olivia replied. “Is that okay with you?”

“I don’t see an issue,” Cragen responded.

“Thank you,” Olivia replied with a smile. “I’ll tell Alex you send your regards.”

“Make sure you do,” Cragen responded as he escorted her out.

Olivia stopped at Elliot’s desk on her way out. “Cragen okayed my week off,” she informed him.

“Good,” Elliot responded. “Tell Alex I said hi.”

“I will,” Olivia replied with a smile.

Olivia returned home to an apartment that resembled a clothes store more than a residence. “I see you’ve been packing,” she commented.

“Yep,” Alex replied from inside their closet. “I can’t decide what to bring.”

“I can tell,” Olivia responded. “What’s the problem? Just put some clothes in a bag and hope for the best.”

Alex poked her head outside of the closet to glare at Olivia. “I could, but then I’d look like you,” she said.

“Is that a bad thing?” Olivia asked, channeling her offense at Alex’s statement into her voice.

“No,” Alex replied before pausing. “Not if I was trying to tell every person who looks at me how much of a lesbian I am.”

Olivia threw one of Alex’s shirts at her. “I’m _not_ ,” she protested.

“Your wardrobe says otherwise,” Alex responded, having gone back into the closet in search of more clothes.

“Your clothes are all perfectly fine,” Olivia protested. “What is your issue?”

“I just want to look good,” Alex defended herself. 

“Babe you always look good,” Olivia responded as she joined Alex in the closet. “Clothes just cover the best parts of you anyway,” she continued, her voice dropping to a whisper.

Alex shot a glare at her. “You are not going to flirt with me inside a closet, that is just so wrong.”

Olivia pouted. “I still think that your clothes are fine. What’s the worst thing that could happen anyway? Your sister rejects you because of your fashion sense?”

“Will you make fun of me if I say yes?” Alex asked, resigned.

“Absolutely,” Olivia replied cheerfully.

Alex just sighed and continued digging through her closet.

“By the way, Cragen and Elliot send their regards,” Olivia informed her. 

“You got the time off?”

“Yeah, it was easier than I thought.”

“To be fair, it isn’t as if you take time off frequently.”

Olivia sighed. “I should take off more though, this job is slowly killing me.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “You seem to forget that this job could also literally kill you.”

Olivia shrugged. “Either way, this vacation is for the best.”

Alex smirked.

“What?” Olivia asked suspiciously.

“You complain about the job all the time, but we all know that they’ll either be forcibly throwing you out of the 1-6 or you’ll be carried out in a coffin because you’ll never leave of your own volition.”

Olivia paused. “Yeah, you aren’t wrong. This job is awful, but I don’t think I’ll ever be able to stop doing it.”

“Well, you will for a week at least,” Alex replied as she placed some clothes into her bag, finally having found acceptable outfits for the trip.

Olivia nodded before helping Alex pick up and rehang the discarded clothes.

As they were finally zipping up their bags, Alex stopped Olivia. "Should we bring the birth certificate?" she asked.

"Why?" Olivia responded, furrowing her brow.

"If someone showed up on my doorstep saying that they're my biological sister, I'd want proof. The birth certificate is undeniable proof."

"If you want to," Olivia responded with a shrug. "This situation is so ridiculous she might not even ask for proof though. I mean _who_ would make something like this up?"

Alex shrugged. "We both know that anything is possible, and I just want her to believe us."

Olivia nodded. "It won't hurt if we bring it, I guess," she responded. "Do you have it?" 

"It's in our bedroom, I'll get it," Alex said, getting the certificate and putting it in her carry on bag.

The next day, Alex and Olivia arrived at the airport shortly before noon. They stopped to get food, before heading to the terminal.

“I’ve actually never been to Chicago before,” Olivia commented as they waited.

“Really?” Alex asked. “I’ve been a few times on work-related trips, but I've never done any sightseeing. Hopefully, we’ll be able to do some on this trip though.”

Olivia nodded, and then turned as it was announced that their flight was boarding. Alex and Olivia boarded before settling in for the flight.

They spent almost the entire flight commenting on the questionable movie being played on the seat TVs and avoiding the topic of Alex’s sister entirely.

After they landed at O’Hare though, they were forced to face the topic.

“Are you ready?” Olivia asked as they entered the rental car they would be using for transport.

“I don’t know,” Alex said softly.

“Would you like to stop at the hotel first or go directly to the address we found?”

“Go directly,” Alex directed. “The hotel room probably won’t be ready when we get there anyway.”

Olivia nodded.

They arrived at the address that they had found on the internet, a neatly kept townhouse in what appeared to be a wealthy neighborhood.

They walked up to the door and shared an apprehensive glance.

“Here goes nothing,” Olivia said quietly as Alex knocked on the door apprehensively.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> as of next chapter, the story will be split between er (usually kerry, sometimes sandy) and svu (still alex/olivia) povs! i will be posting something on tuesday, i just have no idea what it'll be because i have four half-finished short stories/one-shots currently. there will be something though, and it'll most likely be cabenson. thanks for reading!


	5. sibling love

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> in which kerry's life becomes even more of a soap opera than it already was

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is a little late, i've been fairly busy but we're in chicago now! i changed canon a little by deciding that kerry couldn't fire romano because i honestly believe that if she had the ability, she would have fired him the first chance she got. canon changes notwithstanding, i hope you enjoy the chapter!

Kerry stared at her office door apprehensively. Romano was due to barge any minute in so that she could have a long-overdue conversation with him about the behavior that he had displayed since he had been demoted to ER Chief.

Since the loss of his arm and his demotion, Romano’s behavior had deteriorated from awful to terrible, and she had spent a good two hours earlier that day just addressing all the complaints she had received against him from other staff members.

She wished she could just fire him on the spot (it wasn’t as if it’d be undeserved or arbitrary considering his appalling behavior and lack of experience in the ER), but that wasn’t in her power and Anspaugh insisted on keeping him on as Chief of ER for some godawful reason.

Maybe when Romano’s undeniably offensive behavior inevitably caused a lawsuit to be filed against the hospital then Anspaugh would reconsider.

As she had expected, Romano promptly barged into her office, not bothering to knock on the door or check to see if she was in a meeting.

“You wanted to talk to me?”

“Robert,” she began. “I know how upset you are over the demotion, and I feel awful about what happened to your arm, but you absolutely cannot insult the patients or hinder the doctors from doing their jobs.”

“Oh really?” he responded sarcastically. “Well I apologize for being injured in the workplace and for being angry that it led to my clearly illegal, unethical, and discriminatory demotion. You and Anspaugh should be grateful that I accepted my demotion with grace instead of filing a lawsuit alleging discrimination due to disability like I should have.”

Kerry sighed, resisting the urge to laugh at the assertion that he had ‘accepted his demotion with grace’. “You were demoted because of your attitude, not your disability and you know full well that no civil rights group would touch you with a ten-foot pole. Sexual assault allegations, homophobia, racism, abuse of power. I honestly don't’ know what you have on Anspaugh that’s allowed you to keep your job, because you should’ve been fired a long time ago,” she retorted, all pretense of politeness gone in the face of his provocation.

“Of course you’d say that,” he sneered. “You’ve had your beady eyes on my job since I first got it, conniving little bitch that you are.”

Kerry resisted the urge to hit him with her crutch, (although he absolutely deserved it), and instead just gave him a tight smile. “I hope you know that I'll be taking note of every allegation and complaint against you so that I can fire you when the rest of the administration finally realizes how much of a liability you are.”

“Try to fire me Weaver, I dare you,” Robert taunted her before leaving, slamming the door shut so hard that Kerry worried that it would break for a second.

After he left, Kerry put her head in her hands and sighed. 

_Sometimes she wished that the helicopter had cut off more than his arm._

Putting the fruitless and exasperating conversation behind her, she finished up some paperwork and her mood improved considerably when she realized she’d be able to spend the afternoon off.

Once she arrived home, she practically fell onto her couch. Dealing with Romano and the messes that he constantly made had taken more out of her than she had realized.

On her way upstairs to change though, she heard a knock at the door. Sighing at the unwelcome noise, she turned around and made her way back downstairs. 

She had been hoping for some peace and quiet, considering the day that she had, but as per usual, her wishes meant nothing to whatever god had it out for her.

After checking herself in the mirror to ensure that she was presentable, she opened the door, which revealed two unfamiliar looking women.

“Hi,” she greeted, not knowing what else to say. 

“Hi,” the blonde woman replied, avoiding eye contact with Kerry. “Are you Kerry Weaver?”

“I am,” she confirmed. “What is this about?”

“It’s a long story,” the woman began, looking nervous. “But, to skip to the part of interest to you, I think we might be sisters. Biologically. “

Kerry’s eyes widened as she felt her heart stop in her chest. 

This situation had occurred to her of course, especially when she was a child. Someone just showing up on her doorstep, and saying that they were biologically related to her. That didn’t mean that she ever actually believed it would happen though, the idea was _ludicrous_. But, here she was. 

“Well,” she began, unsure of what to say, before finally deciding on, “Would you like to come in?”

The blonde nodded, and followed Kerry into her living room, the brunette behind her. 

“So what are your names?” Kerry asked conversationally, ignoring the various emotions building up inside her as she processed what was happening.

“I’m Alex Cabot, and this is my girlfriend, Olivia Benson.”

Kerry nodded, and almost laughed when Alex introduced Olivia as her girlfriend.

 _We have something in common at least_.

“Where are you from?” Kerry asked, as they sat down.

“We’re from New York,” Alex replied. “Have you lived in Chicago all your life?”

 _It was the world’s most awkward game of 20 questions_.

Nevertheless, Kerry decided to play. “No. I did grow up in the midwest though. Are you both from New York?”

“We both grew up in or around the city,” Alex responded. 

“Would you two like anything to drink?” Kerry asked. 

_It would take more than her biological sister showing up on her doorstep for her to forgo basic politeness_.

“No thanks,” Alex and Olivia responded in unison.

Kerry paused, before saying what had been on her mind since they had arrived. “I think I might want to hear that ‘long story’ that you mentioned earlier,” she said quietly. “About us being sisters.”

She didn’t know whether to believe her. _She couldn’t_. Maybe this was all just some elaborate scam. She wasn’t sure whether she’d prefer that or not.

Alex smiled slightly, although her subtle fidgeting belayed her nervousness. “I figured. I found out about your existence a few days ago,” she began. “My- our mom died. It wasn’t a surprise, she was sick, it was only a matter of time. She requested that her lawyer call us in and give us a note from her personally. In the note, it said that she got pregnant as a teenager and gave the baby up for adoption because she couldn’t raise a child and that her name was Kerry Weaver.”

“So she knew my name?”

“Yes,” Alex replied. 

“And she never said anything or looked for me?”

“Not that I’m aware of,” Alex said. “It was a shock to me.”

“What was she like, our mom?”

 _She couldn't help herself_.

Alex paused. “To put it politely, she was a narcissist.”

Kerry raised an eyebrow. “Really?” she asked.

Alex nodded. “What was your childhood like?”

Kerry was surprised at the pivot but responded nevertheless. “It was good, my parents never treated me differently due to me being adopted. In their eyes, it was just as if I was theirs biologically,” she responded.

“Honestly, you were probably better off with them then you would’ve been with _her_. Our mom, she didn’t really want me, and I think I actually told her that I wished she’s given me up for adoption at one point, because she always made it very clear that I was a burden on her previously uninhibited lifestyle.”

“That’s terrible,” Kerry said softly.

“Yeah,” Alex responded. “The positive to growing up with her was that money was never an issue, but she wasn’t exactly _caring_. We weren’t even speaking when she died because she disapproved of my sexuality.”

“Really?” Kerry asked. “That’s awful. I never even got to tell my parents about, they died before I realized that I was gay, although I don’t believe that they would’ve had an issue with it.”

“You’re a lesbian too?” Alex asked.

Kerry nodded. “I guess it runs in our family, at least,” she said with a little laugh.

“I guess so,” Alex responded, amused. 

“So our mom gave me up because she couldn’t raise a child?”

“I believe so,” Alex responded. “I’m fairly sure she gave you up as soon as she gave birth to you.”

“Did she know about my disability?” Kerry asked, gesturing at her crutch quickly. Nervousness pooled in her stomach as she asked the question. 

_She wasn’t sure whether she wanted to know the answer._

“I doubt it,” Alex replied. “All she knew about you was your name, I doubt that she bothered to learn anything else.”

Despite the negative picture Alex was painting of their mother, Kerry felt only relief. The knowledge that she wasn’t given up because of her disability, and that she was likely better off because she was given up, answered the two questions that had plagued her for her entire life.

Alex’s eyes lit up as she remembered something. “Also, I have your first birth certificate. They pre-adoption one. I figured that you should have it.”

“Thank you,” Kerry responded with a smile as she took the birth certificate from her before inspecting it.

“No father?” she asked.

“None listed,” Alex responded. “That's typical with my mother though, I don’t even know who my father is.”

Kerry nodded. “Do you have any other siblings?”

“Not that I know of,” Alex responded. “Although, as I have recently learned, that doesn’t mean no.”

Kerry smiled at that. “Apparently not,” she agreed, before a question occurred to her. “Why did you want to find me?” she asked. “If it's too personal, you don’t have to answer, but it isn’t as if you needed to.”

“In my mind I had too. It’s just in my personality,” Alex responded. “If I didn’t find you, I’d spend my entire life wondering about you. Even if you did turn out to be homophobic, a serial killer, or a total bitch, at least I would know. Luckily, so far you don’t appear to be either of those.”

Kerry smirked. “Homophobic and serial killer, no. Total bitch, it depends on who you ask.”

Alex smiled. “To be fair, that might apply to me too, although Olivia can testify that I am a joy and a pleasure to be around.”

“Absolutely,” Olivia replied while simultaneously shaking her head ‘no’. “Such a joy and a pleasure.” 

Kerry laughed. “Ask anyone who works for me, and I think that “total bitch” might be one of the nicer ways that they would describe me. People have called me worse insults to my face.”

“What job do you work where people can insult you to your face?”

Kerry laughed. “I’m an ER doctor.”

“Oh,” Olivia replied understandingly. “The _patients_ have called you worse insults, that makes a lot of sense. I’m sure that you get a lot of crazies in there.”

“No, I was talking about the doctors,” Kerry corrected, causing Olivia to raise an eyebrow.

“Being a doctor in the ER must be a stressful job,” she sympathized after a second. “Whenever I’m interviewing a vic, it’s always a zoo in there.”

“A vic? Are you a cop?” Kerry asked, interested. 

“Yeah,” Olivia confirmed.

“Must be dangerous, especially in New York.”

“It’s not _that_ dangerous,” Olivia refuted at the same time that Alex said, “It’s ridiculously dangerous, made much worse by Liv’s hero complex.”

Olivia rolled her eyes. “That’s rich coming from you,” she said.

“What?” 

“You have a hero complex the size of Jupiter.”

“No I do _not_ ,” Alex responded with a glare.

“You go on a justice crusade _at least_ twice a week!”

Kerry shook her head, amused at the bickering between the two.

“Seems to me like you both have hero complexes,” Kerry commented, causing both women to turn their glares onto her.

“No I don’t!” they responded in unison. 

Kerry just laughed.

Staring at the redheaded doctor, Alex was encouraged that she did not appear to be a serial killer or a homophobe. She had spent so much time worrying about who her sister would be when she met her that it was almost surprising how nice and normal she appeared to be.

 _And lesbian_.

Alex had to say, it was a huge relief learning that her sister was not only not homophobic, but was gay herself. At least they had something other than their glasses in common.

After dipping slightly into the topic of their jobs, they stuck to polite conversation, talking about _the weather_ and _Chicago_ and _New York_ , but avoiding anything about work or family.

 _Those subjects could get depressing quickly_.

Alex found herself surprised once again though, when the door opened and a woman entered, carrying some groceries.

Kerry stood up immediately. “This is my partner Sandy. Sandy, this is my,” she paused for effect. “Biological sister, Alex Cabot and her partner, Olivia Benson.”

Sandy furrowed an eyebrow. “I didn’t know that you had started looking for your biological family again.”

“I hadn’t,” Kerry replied. “They found me.”

“Really?” Sandy asked. “That’s great, I’m happy for you,” she said with what appeared to be genuine enthusiasm. “I’m just going to put the groceries in the kitchen,” she added, gesturing to her full arms.

A second later, Sandy returned, and their conversation resumed.

“I’m not sure if you noticed,” Kerry said with a smile, “but Sandy is pregnant.”

“Really?” Alex asked, noticing the small bump Sandy sported for the first time. “That’s great! I’m so happy for you!”

“At least someone’s family is,” Sandy replied lightly. “My mother dislikes the idea of having a “test-tube” grandchild, and doesn’t really recognize that fact that I have a partner, let alone that the baby is also Kerry’s. She keeps saying, ‘why would you want to raise a child without their father?’ and commenting on how much money we’ve wasted getting pregnant.”

Alex wrinkled her nose. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” Sandy replied with a sigh. “Her opinions aren’t the ones that matter.”

“So how far along are you?” Alex asked.

Sandy smiled. “Four months,” she said proudly. 

Alex returned her smile. “That’s amazing. Olivia and I haven’t even broached the subject yet.”

Sandy nodded. “Yeah, it was a big decision when we finally decided we wanted this, especially because I wanted to make sure I was in a good place at work.”

“I’m glad that it worked out for you two,” Alex replied with a smile. “Are you going to find out the gender?”

Sandy and Kerry shared a look. 

“That remains to be seen,” Kerry said with a little laugh.

“We have differing opinions on the subject,” Sandy added. “I like surprises, while Kerry can’t stand not knowing something.”

“Must be a family trait,” Olivia commented, causing Sandy to laugh and Kerry and Alex to glare. “What?” Olivia asked innocently.

Alex just sighed and shared a long-suffering look with Kerry. “ _Women_ ,” she sighed overdramatically.

Olivia gave her an odd look. “You are aware that you are one, right?”

“Doesn’t mean that I can’t complain about them,” Alex responded airly.

“It’d be a real shame if I left you for Elliot,” Olivia threatened, causing Alex to sigh. Olivia had never let her live down the time she had expressed slight jealousy at the close friendship between the two.

“And what? Be a mother to the four children he has with Kathy? Or be his work mistress? Oh wait, you already are.”

Olivia pouted. “I’m not Elliot’s work mistress.”

“He uses you as an escape from his perfect suburban family life.”

Olivia sighed and turned to Sandy and Kerry. “Alex thinks that I’m having an affair with my coworker,” she complained.

“No I didn't,” Alex refuted. “I never said that you were sleeping together, just that he uses you to forget about his family. Different things.”

Olivia didn’t accept that. “You see the jealousy I have to deal with on a daily basis?” she asked the other two women indignantly.

Kerry and Sandy laughed at both Olivia’s statement and Alex’s murderous glare after the fact, turning the attention of both women onto them.

“Is something funny?” Alex asked, arching an eyebrow.

“Nothing,” Sandy and Kerry responded in unison. 

“Good,” Alex responded smugly. 

Olivia shook her head. “Imagine having to work with her,” she stage-whispered.

Alex smirked. “Technically, she works _for_ me, not _with_ me.”

“I work for Cragen, not you.”

“Cragen works for me.”

“He works for 1PP.”

“Who works for me.”

“Who works for the city. Plus, you work for Liz and Branch.”

“And you work for me.”

Olivia sighed. “Can we switch sisters?” she asked Sandy. “Kerry seems nice and not a _high maintenance bitch_.”

Alex glared while Sandy and Kerry burst into laughter.

“What?” Olivia asked.

“Just, tell the people that work for Kerry that. They would probably disagree.”

“Probably?” Kerry asked incredulously. “Even the few people who like me would disagree with that.”

“At least you’re self-aware about it though,” Olivia said. “Unlike your sister.”

Alex sighed. “I’ve known my sister for maybe two hours and you’re already performing a full-blown character assassination. _Wonderful_.”

“You have character to assassinate?” 

Alex ignored Olivia’s jab and turned to Kerry. “I’m sorry about her. She’s not usually allowed out in public, so please excuse her behavior.”

Kerry smiled. “It’s fine, I understand having an embarrassing girlfriend.”

“What did I ever do to you?”

“You outed me at work, for a start.”

“And I've spent the last two years making up for that!”

“Doesn’t mean I won’t keep using it as a guilt card.”

“You used that up four months ago.”

“You could have said no!”

“I never said that you used it up on the pregnancy.”

Kerry gave Sandy a skeptical look, but declined to comment in favor of turning back to Alex and Olivia.

“So how long have you two been together?” she asked, causing them to laugh at her quick change of subject.

“Two years,” Alex responded. “We met at work, and bickered like an old married couple for a year, before it finally turned into kissing.”

“I can believe that from your bickering today,” Kerry agreed. “Sandy and I started dating around two years ago, then broke up, and got back together for good around a year and a half ago.”

“You said that you realized that you were gay later in life?” Alex asked.

“Yes, I only accepted it a few years ago if I’m being honest. I was married to a man over a decade ago, and was always confused over why it went wrong until I finally realized that I was gay. How about you?”

“I’ve known since I was a teenager. My coming out to our mother, though, was disastrous. Luckily, my stepfather was much more accepting so it wasn’t as bad as it could’ve been.”

“That’s an interesting reversal of the trope,” Kerry commented. “Evil mother, caring stepfather.”

Alex laughed. “I never thought about it that way, but it fits perfectly.”

They were interrupted by Sandy’s beeper going off.

“You've got to be kidding me!” she exclaimed. “I got home an hour ago and they're calling me back in? They can’t do that!”

Despite her complaints, she checked the message and sighed. ”They’re calling everyone in, I have to go.”

“You shouldn’t even be working,” Kerry complained as Sandy got ready to go.

“We are _not_ having this conversation right now,” Sandy said tiredly as she left. “Bye Ker, nice to meet you two.”

“Bye,” the three remaining women chorused in unison as she left.

Alex checked the time and noticed that it was getting late. “We should probably get going too,” she said. “We never checked into the hotel.”

“Sounds good,” Kerry replied. “Do you want to have dinner Wednesday night so we can get to know each other a little better?”

“I’d like that,” Alex responded with a smile as she and Olivia got up to leave. “What time?”

“Six?” Kerry suggested. “I can call you with the directions to a restaurant if you give me your cell number.”

“Works for us,” Alex replied. “It was really nice to meet you!”

“You too,” Kerry replied softly as Alex and Olivia left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i probably won't post be able to post chapter 6 next week, i'll aim for the tuesday of the week after next, but when i do update i might end up changing the chapter count and maybe some tags/ratings because i've decided to take the story in a different direction than the one it was originally headed. thanks for reading and stay safe!


	6. chicago adventures

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> alex and kerry process the events of the day before and olivia and alex explore chicago.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i'm sorry for how late this chapter was! it's a little shorter than normal but i just didn't want to delay the chapter any more than i already have. i also decided to end the chapter a little earlier than i had planned and include pt. 2 of ao's excursion in the next one, so that's why the ending may seem a little abrupt.

Olivia eyed Alex nervously as she flipped through the TV channels offered by the hotel. As much as she loved the blonde, her feelings always seemed to be a touchy subject. 

“So,” she began.

“So?” Alex asked expectantly.

“How do you feel about everything?”

“About Kerry?”

“Yeah.”

“I like her.”

Olivia was surprised. There was nothing wrong with Kerry, she had just assumed that her feelings would have been less positive. After all, in comparison to Alex she had gotten off easy. Sure she would forever have issues with her identity, but at least she didn’t grow up with a mother like Katherine Cabot. 

“You do?” she asked.

“I do,” Alex confirmed. “She’s smart, funny, and nice. What more could I ask for?”

“I guess,” Olivia acquiesced.

“Do you have an issue with her?”

“I don’t,” Olivia replied defensively.

“Really? Because it seems like you want me to have an issue with her.”

“I _don’t_ ,” Olivia emphasized.

“Are you sure?” Alex asked skeptically.

“I just- it feels like she got off easily. Her parents were nice and loving, she has a career as a successful doctor and has a hot and pregnant girlfriend. Her life is perfect!”

“I doubt it Liv!” Alex shot back. “Sure I didn’t have the easiest childhood, but considering she has a disability, I doubt that her childhood was a walk in the park either. Even if it wasn’t though, she probably had a lot of issues from not knowing where she came from, and if anyone should emphasize with that, it should be you!”

Olivia sighed. “I know,” she said tiredly. “I just hate that you had to grow up with Katherine, it feels so unfair.”

Alex shrugged. “It is, but life’s unfair. I do don’t hold against it against Kerry that she was given up and it isn’t her fault that Mom is awful. There isn’t some twisted competition where I should be mad because my childhood was worse than hers. Neither of us had perfect childhoods, just like you didn’t!”

“Fair enough,” Olivia agreed. “I guess I just want to blame somebody, anybody, for your childhood. You didn’t deserve to have a shitty childhood and it makes me angry that you did.”

“I know and I appreciate Liv, but if I didn’t have the childhood that I did, I may never have decided to become a prosecutor and may never have met you. I would relive my childhood one-hundred times over just to be with you. It was awful, and it shaped me in so many ways, but it brought me to you, and you have helped me in ways that you don’t even realize!”

Olivia raised an eyebrow. “I have?”

“Yeah,” Alex replied. “You have.”

Olivia smiled and got into bed next to Alex. “I don’t believe you,” she said plainly.”But thank you anyway.”

“Of course you don’t,” Alex said lightly. “But I will prove it to you.”

“I’m sure that you will,” Olivia agreed as Alex snuggled up next to her.

“Coffee?” Kerry asked as Sandy came downstairs, looking extremely tired.

“Yes, _please_ ,” Sandy practically moaned as she entered the kitchen.

“Rough night?” Kerry asked sympathetically. By the time Sandy had arrived home, Kerry has already asleep.

“Awful,” Sandy said with a sigh. “We arrived too late. We did everything we could, but it just wasn't enough.”

“Are you okay?” Kerry asked, concerned.

“I’m fine, but I might have to notify them of my pregnancy.”

“Really?” Kerry asked, attempting to mask her pleasure at the news.

“Yeah,” Sandy responded. “I managed to avoid doing anything strenuous this time, but I don’t think that I could get away with it again without disclosing my pregnancy. Not excited for my future of desk duty and time off though.”

“There are worse fates,” Kerry joked.

“You’re one to talk,” Sandy replied skeptically. “When was the last time you took off work?”

Kerry paused. “I definitely did. It was when- you know what? This is none of your business anyway!”

Sandy just laughed, before she paused and set down her coffee on the counter.

“How do you feel?” she asked bluntly.

“About what?”

“Your newfound sister?” It’s a pretty big development.”

“I’m fine with it, I like her." Kerry replied quickly.

“You ou don’t feel weird about it at all considering she just randomly showed up on your doorstep?”

“She doesn’t seem to want anything from me, and she did have proof, so I’m fine with it.”

“How about the fact that your biological mother was awful?”

“What is this, 20 questions?”

“Yes. I want to know how you feel.”

“That’s nice but this isn’t a kindergarten class. I’m fine.”

“You just found out that your biological mother is a giant bitch and that you have a biological sister yet you are seriously trying to tell me that you are fine? I know you better than that Weaver. So talk to me.”

Kerry sighed. “I guess I don’t know how to feel. I honestly haven’t processed it yet.”

“Are you happy about it?”

“About my mother apparently being awful? Not really. About having a sister? I guess so.”

“You guess so?”

“Are you applying for a position as my therapist?”

“No, I just want to make sure that you are okay as your partner and the mother of your child.”

Kerry grimaced. “I’m sorry I’m so snappish. Just preparing myself for dealing with Romano later I guess.”

“Is he still terrorizing the ER?”

“I don’t know what his issue is. He’s lucky to still have a job. If it was up to me, he’d be out.”

“Why is he still employed?”

“I have no idea. I think it’s because he has something on Anspaugh.”

“Anspaugh doesn’t seem like the type who has a dark past though.”

“Who knows, you can never say never.”

“Or maybe you’re just paranoid.”

Kerry smiled at that. “That may be possible,” she agreed.

“You’re deflecting,” Sandy observed. “So how do you feel about Alex?”

“We’re similar,” Kerry replied simply.

“No shit,” Sandy replied exasperatedly. “Pale lesbians with graduate degrees and glasses.”

“Did Alex ever tell us her job?”

“No, but she’s probably either a CEO or a lawyer,” Sandy guessed.

“How do you figure that?”

“Have you seen her? She screams ‘old money’ and ‘high powered’.”

“Can’t argue with that,” Kerry agreed

“You still haven’t actually answered my question,” Sandy reminded her. “If your sister is half as cagey as you, then Olivia must be a saint.”

“What are you then?”

“Jesus Christ probably, but let’s get back to the question you’re refusing to answer. How do you feel?”

“Confused,” Kerry finally replied. “It doesn’t feel real. These things don’t happen. Your biological sister doesn’t just show up on your doorstep one day.”

Sandy nodded, not bothering to hide her pleasure at finally getting Kerry to express her feelings. “Well it did,” she replied softly.

“I know, and that’s what’s so weird.”

Sandy smiled gently at Kerry. “I’m happy for you babe.”

“And I’m cutting it close, I don't want to be late for work”, Kerry responded. “Try and rest a bit, you and the baby need it.”

“If you say so doctor,” Sandy replied with only a hint of sarcasm.

After a brief kiss, Kerry headed out, bracing herself for another day battling with Romano and the various wants and needs of the hospital administration.

“Kerry, I’m glad you’re here!” Anspaugh greeted her, having already arrived at her office.

“Donald,” Kerry greeted, trying to keep the annoyance out of her voice. “What a surprise.”

“Well I just wanted to speak to you quickly. Robert called me yesterday-”

 _Oh God_.

“And mentioned that you were threatening to fire him. As Chief of Staff that is technically within your rights, but I would strongly advise you against taking that course of action.”

“Why?” Kerry asked tiredly. “Also I threatened him, but I would never take action on it without your approval. You know that Donald.”

“I was just checking to make sure, I know that he can _provoke_ you sometimes and I don't want you to do something you may regret later.”

“I wasn't planning on it,” Kerry replied, noting that he didn’t answer her first question and wondering what exactly he meant by the latter statement.

“I have a meeting, so have a good day Dr. Weaver.”

“You too,” Kerry replied, rolling her eyes as soon as he turned away from her.

Sighing, she went into her office, but was soon accosted by an irate Elizabeth, who (following Romano's example) barged in without so much as a knock.

“What the _hell_ do you think you’re doing Kerry?”

Kerry looked up slowly. “ _Excuse me?_ ”

“What are you doing? You can’t really expect us to cut two residents, we’re already understaffed as it is!”

Kerry winced as she remembered the memo she had sent out yesterday before she left. It wasn’t her wish either, but she didn’t have a choice in the matter. They needed to cut expenses and currently, the surgical program was the only one that could afford to lose two of its residents.

“You still have more attendings than the ER,” she tried to reason.

“Yes, and now less residents!” Elizabeth pointed out angrily.

“I’m sorry Elizabeth, but it’s just not within our budget to sustain the current number of surgical attendings.”

Elizabeth rolled her eyes. “There must be some way to avoid this,” she said, her voice almost pleading. 

“I’m sorry,” Kerry said simply. 

Elizabeth opened her mouth, but promptly closed it and stalked out.

Kerry leaned back in her chair and let out a sigh. She had gotten to work less than an hour before and was already drained.

“Dr. Weaver?”

Kerry braced herself for another confrontation but relaxed when she saw Abby in the doorway.

“Yes, Abby?”

“Carter wanted me to let you know that he found Luka alive in the Congo and is sending him home.”

“Really?”

When they had received word that Luka had died while working in the Congo, Kerry had been upset. Although she and Luka didn’t always see eye to eye, she had always respected him as a doctor. She paused as she realized that Abby didn’t seem as happy as she should be, considering the news.

“But?” she prompted.

“Carter’s staying in Africa for a while.”

“Oh, I’m sorry Abby,” Kerry said quietly. From Abby’s demeanor, it was clear that she didn’t agree with Carter’s decision.

“It’s fine,” Abby said quickly, brushing of Kerry’s concern. “He just wanted me to let you know."

“I appreciate that,” Kerry responded.

“Bye Dr. Weaver.”

“Bye Abby.”

“So, where are we going?” Olivia asked as they stepped out of the hotel.

Alex raised an eyebrow. “I told you what we were doing today on the plane.”

“I forgot. Could you remind me?”

“You mean, ‘I wasn’t listening, please tell me’.”

“Maybe.”

_At least she had the decency to look ashamed of herself._

“Well, you’ll find out soon enough.”

“Why can’t you just tell me?”

“That’d be too easy.”

“Do you realize how annoying you are?”

“I’ve been made aware.”

Olivia sighed but followed Alex. “How are we getting there?” she pressed.

“Walking.”

“Why?”

“Because it’s right here.” Alex pointed and Olivia's eyes followed her gesture and landed on the park a block away.

“Oh,” Olivia responded. 

“Millenium Park,” Alex clarified.

As they approached the park, Olivia’s eyes lit up. “Ice skating?” she asked enthusiastically.

Alex smiled. “You keep bragging about how good you are, but you constantly complain that you never have the time. I figured that we could see how good you really are.”

Olivia smiled. “I love you, you know that right?”

Alex just gave her a smile in return as they went up to the stand and rented two pairs of skates.

After putting on her skates, Olivia stepped gingerly onto the rink, before holding out a hand to help Alex down.

“You good?” she asked after Alex had steadied herself.

“Yep, it’s just been a while for me too,” Alex replied with a smile.

“Don’t worry, I can help you.”

“Is that supposed to reassure me?”

“It should!”

“Well it doesn’t,” Alex replied, gripping the bar tightly as she moved, Olivia gliding effortlessly ahead of her.

They continued like that for a while, Alex refusing to leave the side of the rink while Olivia skated ahead, before Olivia finally offered to hold hands.

“Took you long enough,” Alex complained.

“I needed to reaffirm my skills first!”

“Or you just liked seeing me struggle at something for once.”

“For once? I have eaten food that you’ve cooked honey.”

“What’s wrong with my cooking skills?”

“The fact that you have none, for starters.”

“You’re lucky I love you.”

“You’re lucky that I can cook.”

Alex pouted but chose not to respond, deciding that it would likely be unwise to anger the person keeping you from falling face-first onto the ice.

After skating for a while, Olivia turned to Alex. 

“I”m pretty tired,” she commented. “Do you want to take a break?”

“Sure,” Alex responded, trying to mask the relief she felt at Olivia’s suggestion. Her ankles ached, her hands were sweaty, and she was in constant fear of falling over. 

_Ice skating was absolutely going to become a regular activity in the Cabot-Benson household._

Olivia helped Alex out of the rink and after depositing the skates, they both sat down on a bench.

“Do you think we’re old?” Olivia asked.”I shouldn’t feel this tired. We weren't even skating for _that_ long!”

Alex snorted. “Liv, you aren’t even forty, you’re fine. Ice skating is a tiring sport.”

“If you say so,” Olivia responded, her eyes following the people in front of them.

“See something?” Alex asked interestedly. 

“No,” Olivia responded. “One of the guys that passed by looked familiar, but I couldn’t place it. Probably just one of those guys with one of _those_ faces? You know?”

“No, not really,” Alex responded, raising an eyebrow at her but failing to hide her smile.

Olivia rolled her eyes. “Just a generic face, I guess. Someone who looks familiar because their face is so average.”

“Or, maybe you just need your eyes tested.”

Olivia shot a glare at Alex. “I don’t need glasses,” she said stubbornly. 

“I never said that you did!” Alex protested.

“You implied it!”

“Maybe you need hearing aids too.”

“Maybe you need a new girlfriend,” Olivia retorted playfully.

“Maybe I do,” Alex agreed, causing Olivia to look up in alarm and then shoot a glare at her when she noticed her amused smile. 

“You aren’t funny.”

“Maybe you just need a sense of humor,” Alex replied.

“My sense of humor is fine, thank you!” Olivia replied indignantly.

“Whatever you say,” Alex replied with a sigh. “Do you want to get something to eat?”

After Olivia agreed, they got something to eat, before deciding to walk around the park some more.

While Alex was engrossed in the sights of the park, Olivia was slightly jumpy as she eyed the passerby.

“What’s your problem?” Alex asked tiredly.

“I don’t have a problem,” Olivia defended herself.

“You look like you just found out someone’s put a hit on you?”

“Are you planning to?”

“Not until we can get legally married. No point in killing you if it doesn’t benefit me.”

“Maybe this is why your relationships last around six months on average. I can understand why most of your exes went running.”

Alex rolled her eyes. “Or maybe it’s because of my busy work schedule.”

Olivia scoffed. “That’s what they all say.”

Alex eyed her. “What’s your excuse then?”

“No comment,” Olivia replied with a smirk before laughing at Alex’s glare. ”So where are we going next?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hope you enjoyed the chapter and i apologize for the delay again. next week i am busy and won't be able to post again unfortunately, so the next chapter will be posted the friday after next. thank you for reading and stay safe!


End file.
